Funny SMS Text

1-When you feel lonely, Cheer up! Just go to the mirror and say "Shit! I'm really so cute!" You'll overcome your sadness. But don't make it a habit cause liars go to HELL!

2-I wanted to tell you that I truly treasure our friendship- you mean a lot to me. You cry...I cry. You laugh..I laugh. You jump out of the window...I...I...I...look down and then I laugh again.

3-He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" -
but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words

4-I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster? Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today

5-You know what I pray to God everyday in the morning that everyone gets a friend like you. Why should only I suffer?

Funny SMS Text

6-I look at the stars, the stars are beautiful. I look at you..I....I...I'd rather look at the stars again!

7-Those innocent eyes..Those kissable lips...A great smile...The perfect walk..Smoothest talk...Absolutely gorgeous...Thats enough about me..How are you?

8-Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!

9-im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up

10-If your face had "Welcome" written on it,
it would make a perfect doormat

11-A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

12-it goes in dry, it comes out wet,
the stronger its in the stronger it get,
we can have it in bed just u n me,
not what u think
- teabag

13-U picked me up,u took me home,u put ur hands around my waist,u took off my top,den u put ur lips om mine. THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.

14-UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet? UR 100%nice??? and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!

Funny SMS Messages

Youd better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last

Keep the school clean ... stay home!

Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.

The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist

Some people live because it is illegal to kill them!

Without the rubber tree the whole world would have AIDS

The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

Funny SMS Messages

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.

When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!

No-one loves hard work more than the one who pays for it.

What do you have in common with your husband ? " We married on the same day."

What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

Getting an other boyfriend or husband is like buying a house. You have to improve yourself.

Last night, my dad and I were talking in the living room about the future.

We were talking about life and death.

Funny SMS Messages

He said to me: “Son, don’t you ever let me live in a vegetative state, depending of machines and fluids in a bottle. If you see me in that state, please unplug and destroy all the devices and fluids that keep me alive, because I rather die!!”

It was then when, filled with admiration, I unplugged the TV and computer, trashed his blackberry, and flushed away his whisky.

In my dream:
We climbd 2gthr 2 heavn
on d way, I was tird,
u carried me on ur back.
Wen v reachd d gate,
GOD told me "cum my child,
leave ur donkey outside.

Bina make-up ke ladki khas lagti hai
Make-up karle to bindas lagti hai
Papa ke sath jaye to udas lagti hai
Par jab jaye akeli to jhakas kagti hai

funny sms jokes

1) Why Couples Hold Hands?

Why do couples hold hands durring their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

2) Why Marriage Is Like Public Toilet?

Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to get in And Those inside are desperate 2 come out..

3) You and Me

You – cute You = hot You = sweet You = intelligent You = amazing You = perfect Me = liar

4) Smart Doctor

Doctor: You look exactly like my third wife. Girl: How many wives do u have? Doctor : Two

Smart people always have smart ideas

5) Husband and Wife

Wife:Wat is 15 years with me? Husband:A sec. Wife:What is $10000 for me? Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a sec

6) Smart or Idiot?

In the hall of examination. Supervisor : Why yoU wrote the formula on your hand. Student : Bcoz my professor advice me that the formulas must be on your finger tips.

7) Mystery of W

You know why women starts with ‘W’… because all questions start with “W”.. ! Who ? Why ? What ? When ? Which ? Whom ? Where ? & Finally Wife..!!!

Boy and Girl

GIRL:My heart is like a mobile and you are the sim card BOY:I m very happy. . . GIRL:dont b too happy. . . If I get a new offer I will change the sim card..! 9) BITCH

Beautiful Intelligent Talented Cute Hilarious

r u smiling now? ? ? ? *YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*

10) Story of See and Saw

“see” & “saw”:

1 day “see” saw sea & “saw” didnt see sea. “See” saw sea and jumped in sea. “Saw” didnt see sea but jumped in sea. “See” saw “saw” in sea & “saw” saw “see” in sea. “See” “saw” both saw sea & both “saw” & “see” were happy to see Sea.

That is how to exercise your brain..!